the christmas fantasy

unable to deal with death and darkness, hence by association not with birth either, we kill god in order to give rebirth to him as a jolly gift-giving fat man. if I were god I'd rather not be so impoverished. I'd rather have kept my mysteries. I'd rather die than be put in a red costume. but then again, we are talking about a culture that decided a year or so ago that pluto, which is hades, is not really a planet, but a dwarf planet.

we have god as santa and the king of the underworld as a dwarf. what next?

the green road to luton

it is an epic. like the odyssey. we are travelling across a london which is actually plains and buses--more like poland--to get to luton airport, to go home. mostly on foot, may I say. on the way we meet many people, many places, flats and houses like islands where we're held up.

there is one moment when I find myself yet again hiding behind a white sofa, I have fallen straight into the midst of a game played by long-forgotten high school friends.

another moment when I realise the time--we are late, obviously.

another moment where some one tells us where to take a right. by that tree, was it? by the barn?

so it's entered me. the buses and the airports. that specific green. people and their flats.

what to say? welcome...

compensation vs wish fulfillment in dreams

jung is simply aware of the impossibility of full satisfaction, awake or asleep. he is a bit of a pessimist. but he means the same thing, ultimately. cause what would happen to the theatricality of the underworld if each dream fulfilled one desire, full filled fully filled, there would be an end to dreams, which would be horrible. so we are not fulfilled so that we can go on dreaming after all. we'd rather be compensated, oh well, better than nothing.

now if we turn our attention to a particular and adopt a less hypothetical and more practical language what would we say?

exhausting dreams repetitions of that which occurs daily and that which reminds me daily that it is NOT occuring so the compensation, the momentary gratification in the cinematic experience, is ultimately incapable even of compensating for what is lacking.

hence let us not speak of degrees at all. let us not quantify (as in every other time). let us recognize the void. or let us not recognize anything at all. either way will do.

benim aska inancim kalmadi hic sorma sooormaaa

soru bir: hic sorma, yani sorma hic mi demek istiyor yoksa hic inanci mi kalmamis?

soru iki: beni ellere verdin utanmadin hic yosma yosma mi diyor? osman mi yoksa? (aslinin bozma oldugunu soylediler ama anlamsiz--neyi bozmasin ellere vermis iste daha ne yapsin ki...)

(ayrica diyelim ki bozma, o zaman da hic bozma mi diyor yoksa hic utanmadin mi diyor)

soru uc: daha dogrusu gozlem uc: hatta epiphany 3: yok 1 olmali:
aya benzer yuregim e dogal olarak takipteyim'den kasit gunesi takip ediyorum daha dogrusu oyle dunyanin etrafinda donuyorum ama asil aradigim gunesin isigi falan gibi cok derin bir mevzu.

senate house library makes me well-organized and systematic in my thinking.

my true archetype

the revelation took place a while ago. now it must happen again.

echo.

who was, indeed, in love with narcissus. (how understandable that I managed to forget. how cruelly as it should be. me who knew it, so well.)

weary blues from waiting

double deckers in a dream
eyes turn from blue to brown

you must, always, read the instructions first.

wanderlust king

the moon continues to be mine though I haven't said much lately. just a warning to those who might think I have given up.
(da dahi a hum durunda durunda durunda durundaaaaa i ahi a)

grace and synchronicity

imprisoned toes or liberated toes?

toes toes toes

wild toes
kind toes

here we part ways

strange dream in which we part ways to go home and I realise I am walking with a bicycle decide to ride at this parking lot-ish place and as I do I cycle into a gym which turns into an italian restaurant which reminds me I have come too long a way, no it would take three hours at least to walk back, need to fill my water bottle but it's gone, I find it but as I fill it it is actually I a little brownish cup and the sink is filled with water that won't go, guess I leave don't know, I am seated with people like movie stars storm is coming (a-ha I think they must want to use the storm as an opoortunity to shoot a cool film) for the sea is on my left the waves are round and going sideways along the coast but huge and the sand (beach) is a slope (how can that be, I defy laws of geography!)

now this, and the fact that I want to be, not become, BE, ghost dog. in fact, I Am. Just decided.

apart from all this, from senate house, the radio can be turned back on no problem. others have joined the character, making him read lyrics in all kinds of languages. yet this time I give voice to the adolescence of those who are by now adults in the year of 2007 aaah ah

ooooh baby, do you know what that's worth? Blue heaven is a place on earth.

I know, there is something in the width of your smile. I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yes.

i can't remember at all!

size senate house library'den sesleniyorum sayin dinleyicilerim. uzun yoldan geldim ama su sorular hala aklimda:

yerimiz mi dar yoksa yenimiz mi dar? ne var?
ucurmus, HERKES, o da kim oluyor, sen kimsin? kim bunlar?
en buyuk KIM?

cevabini bulamadigimiz sorular bizi sehirlerden sehirlere, ulkelerden baska ulkelere surukler sayin seyircilerim, daha da dogrusu dinleyicilerim. kafanizi kurcalayan sorulara cevap arayin! hic olmadi bana sorun.

yeni bir persona olayiyla karsi karsiyayiz. adi hikmet olsun. ama onu halka aciyorum--bence boyle tipler karakterler herkese acik olmali, isteyen tipe girmeli istedigi kadar kalmali, sonra baska tiplere gitmeli. hikmet'i halka mal ediyorum. evet sayin margo, buyrun sayin franny. (ama sana sesli yapmaliyiz once bir duy.)

bak simdi yine gir-icem.

some day soon I'm gonna tell the moon

bu da biraz ani oldu ne diyeyim...

birdenbire, hakkaten.

ya sonra?

my green parrot from last year came alllll the way here. (three minutes by walk, I cannot imagine by wings.) just now. now, that green is some green, fresh edible alive young happy.

when I am famous singing by the piano, I changed my mind, I want not a red dress but a green dress. will please margo, that's for sure. and the repertory is growing, to say the least...

my indian cuisine

many many cakes on glass display shelves, gateaux, really delicious. you bite into one (with your sister, obviously) and it turns out to be paper-like. lent. when is it?

eggs and bunnies. chocolate and apples can keep you alive. and grapes. seedless. tesco finest?

sausage roll.

macchiato. and, flapjack?

tost. well, whoever invented that may s/he rest in peace. much better than otherwise, as margo put it.

chocolate soufflé.

but today, I broke the fast and cooked. and what to put? tabasco. hmmm. curry. raisins! yes, raisins! onions, peppers, tomatoes, potatoes, mushrooms, courgettes, carrots, curry, tabasco, and raisins. on rice. not bad, actually.

kaymak. not good in a can. gotta throw it away, sadly.

yeşil erik, ah, yeşil erik!

mother's vişne reçeli. vişne beats cherry as a word. in literary and theatrical contexts. (re: Vişne Bahçesi)

something's gotta hold of my heart

I need Italian men. Lots of them. Preferably old. I wonder if I could persuade the father and sons at the cafe near senate house.

I am Venus today. Granted, my children.

The eyes. Eye-solation. "He looked at it with...hatred. Yes. He looked at her in...surprise! Yes, surprise!"

I've never been so lucid in my life!

the moon and I

bu gece ay doğdu ninni,
herkesler uyudu ninni,
yum artık o güzel gözlerini ninni,
uyusun yavrum, ninni.

we go way back.

dediler ki:

uykumda gülmüşüm, "there has been a misunderstanding" demişim. ya da onun gibi birşey. gülmüşüm ama... a chuckle. a giggle. outright laughter.

şimdi, zamanında da "at this point we have to make a choice" demişmiştim...

nereden nereye...

mevlana'dan

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.

You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.

People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.

The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.

dream a little dream (of me)

quicksilver of the winged shoes

the thief

the messenger

the bringer of dreams

this one clown

sees some one, falls in love, inevitably...

loses her, has to become her, otherwise...

now at times like this you need a voice: to call. to persuade. to charm. to lure.

guess the tune:
bir sürüüüüü bir sürü öpücük veeeeeeer...

bunu da banu alkan'a sattık mı yırttık.

mnemosyne, lethe

the despotic signifier has the effect of overcoding the territorial chain

coding pain and death, it has foreseen everything--except for the way its own death would come to it from without

the resident spectator calls it 'one of the best accidental encounters ever'

and that encounter is with napoleon, in the worst weirdest best woody allen film ever.

Napoleon: This is an honor for me.
Boris: No, it's a greater honor for me.
Napoleon: No, a greater honor for me.
Boris: No, it's a greater honor for me.
Napoleon: No, a greater honor for ME.
Boris: Well, perhaps you're right. Perhaps it IS a greater honor for you.
Napoleon: And you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Sonja: No, you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Napoleon: No, you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Sonja: No, you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Boris: No, it's a greater honor for me.
Napoleon: I see our Spanish guests have a sense of humor.
Boris: She's a great kidder.
Sonja: No, you're a great kidder.
Boris: No, you're Don Francisco's sister.

millions of thanks to margo, who is not margo. as was written on a high school notepad, still perfect after all these years...

tik-tak

dramaturgically speaking, we are at our top form. roman dish-well. teasing-feastly. moon-seek-ful.

but I have lost my rhythm.

I need my sister's metronom that looked like an antique. not the thing actually, the box. I mean I need the thing but the box looked like an antique.

and then there are the three braids of cut hair.

then the dress my cousin gave me with the animals. and the nice back.

I cannot go home. home has to come here.

kouloupou kouloupou

şimdi: thought-fox'un gittiği yere gitmek cesaret ister, her baba yiğidin harcı değildir.

merdiveni tırmanıp tırmanıp inmeye hazır mısın?
birini dinlemeye bakmaya hani kendini unutmaya?
onun şarkısını duymaya kendin söylememeye.
özlemeye, yanındayken özlememeye, yetmeye yetinmeye.

bu da yemin gibi oldu...
hazırım, doğruyum, yasam kendimi aşmak, soul-searching yapmak, kimseyi ama kimseyi insufficiently amourous hissettirmemektir!

şimdi, bence, gittiği gibi gelsin, ama çabuk gelsin, ve n'olur beni bulsun. eudaimonia.

major/minor

the ladder can accompany singing. like one of those wooden things that go trtrtrtrtrtrt.

the smile at the foot of the ladder comes from the very same depth: the desire for the impossible. the clown who wishes to impart everlasting joy is as tyrannical as caligula who wants to give meaning (and happiness) by showing how it was never there to begin with.

"the striving for distinction brings with it..." and nietzsche draws a whole process like steps up a ladder.

as self-destructive modes of being wear off I get more and more scared of heights.

(another new thought: we need the absence of tyrant: the whore and the poet boy.)

pastime

shock people with your unscrupulous honesty

reveal surfaces

fanatically wait, relish in impatience

continue buying and selling words

reread letter to actor d

waiting

it is possible. it happens.

human contact--the not-so-young young director has his eyes closed, arm extended, hand on mine. I do not move, he does. responding, listening, waiting. the hardest task of all.

"but no I swear I wasn't moving you were fabricating we do it again"

subtle transformation. then for the rest of the given time, he literally rocks.

now, my faith is restored. these aren't mere shells--I meet, really meet, touch, encounter people. it happens. not all--no categorical results--only those who want to meet me too. another breathing possibly-Irish woman, a floor-bound possibly-Jewish directress.

what is most exhilarating is that I too have changed. slower here, imitating there, vicious elsewhere. my whole being turned out...

song of the siren

and the resident spectator, aka the dramaturge, quotes Caligula:

"come here. closer. come closer."

hunger

the clown must return to the scene of crime. the net.

perhaps a mirror? or a bottle of wine? dionysus reclines--yes, to offer pain and pleasure to his guests. I only want to make you alive. If only momentarily.

a being that is close to the ground. the child is there, waiting, listening, scheming. now that is a coup de theatre.

not yet at 'I could have,' still at 'I can.' not 'I almost did,' but 'what if I do.'

l'alma prende fuego 2

the body. expressivity versus pre-expressivity.

I admit I talk too much. unnecessarily and never end up saying what I want to say. count on the fact that I must be saying it somehow, beside myself.

sufficiently amourous words, sufficiently amourous bodies. souls on fire? rained on?

desire-producing machines, always the lack always the void. celebrate the unknown, do everything but never ever normalize. the normal is the abyss.

sen bir meleksin diye...

Lorca'dan

CANCIÓN TONTA

Mamá.
Yo quiero ser de plata.

Hijo,
tendrás mucho frío.

Mamá.
Yo quiero ser de agua.

Hijo,
tendrás mucho frío.

Mamá.
Bórdame en tu almohada.

¡Eso sí!
¡Ahora mismo!

demek istediğim:
embroider me on your pillow

caddeden sokaklara

now. after having done what he has done--or having remembered what he has remembered--shamed and ashamed the clown resigns with the chair dragging behind. moment of recollection moment of recognition confrontation potrei aver ucciso tutti, yes, right.

but he stops. coup de theatre as the resident dramaturge likes to call it. she counted three today. (I am a revolutionary.) he stops cause he forgets again. that is the problem after all. it could all happen again.

stops to become: the statues are alive. I I I I could have I I I ...am poseidon I am venus etc. etc.

caligula defines the tyrant (mind you in a conversation with the young poet): he is the one who compensates for the stupidity of the gods.

so no. the fear is ungrounded. there is nothing about the work that pities the tyrant. even when you subtract the tyrannizing.

to recur; episode 2; the daimon returns!

never worked to sleep during the day. the demons do await the unlucky one who closes her eyes on sunshine. so to begin with: I asked for it and deserved it.

it seems like sean brennan. come to download some stuff on my computer. (what the hell.) when the time comes he refuses to go. and he is not him: andromeda questioningly gives me the look: have I let in the house a man I do not know? hmm? what was I thinking. then the amorphous bit begins. he goes from one to the next becoming others, at the end of the day we do not know him, or perhaps only kinda do and he has come to stay, he won't go, begs kicks lies says his boyfriend kicked him out says he pulled his muscle (all along the lights don't work, that's why we didn't see he wasn't who he was supposed to be) but I manage to call 991 (and manage to think what am I doing here it must be 999) a voice tells me to wait for the tone (or the tune?) and I don't, I start to give the address forget it we tell him again look we have no space we are two women in this tiny place he has unplugged the phone I kick I hit I might have even scratched.

şimdi, bu bir kabussa ben mesajı aldım. geri gelmesin. ben oraya geliyorum.

to recur

I am buffy, again. the hero thing comes back. often.
where is it that I am saving?

the monster is a table with a mask head. when he is visible. again out there to possess me. (now I hear the pun.) he is downloading to my brain-computer all these evil songs. he came from the costume store, where the hats are made. (now I remember the play.)

I am afraid, but not afraid. it is too harsh a dream but not a nightmare.

I run down the stairs--but feet don't touch the steps--I fly down, turning. the chilean vehicle greets me downstairs--it is open air, people are sitting in their gardenly manners, no need to worry.

I sleep some more. Cannot wake up just after this.

and then later on the same day I find myself at the mastershipwright's house, where there is a ghost, and the first thing I see entering the decrepid mansion is a glass display case full of hats. I am taken up many flights of stairs, uncannily like the ones in the dream, only to wash the remnants of a harlequin off my face.

arete

the lady and the unicorn

le musée national du moyen-age

photo il camello solo

to resign from each sense

only to embrace them all

a llama-shepherd in chile is (more) alive

socrates says any one can make the many

by holding a mirror

arkamda sır olmasa, sadece beni göreceksin

o sırdansa varlığım, sen olacaksın

ve bu bir halı, bunu biri ilmek ilmek dokumuş

parmenides vs heraclitus

mimesis sui generis--mimesis sui genesis

republic'i buldum ne güzelmiş hatırladım.

"but first of all we should supervise the storytellers." you'd better.

ayrıca anladım ki bütün derdim animus'umla. clown da tiran da erkek. niye böyle?

kostüm bulundu bugün. pek benzemiyor ama güzel. ben çiçekli olsun istiyorum.

oyuna gelen herkese çıkışta bir tutam saçımı kesip vereceğim.

herşey tekdir ve vardır ve o kadar. nedeni de şu: şimdi olmamak olamaz, çünkü o zaman o olmayan şeyi düşünmemiz de mümkün olmazdı. olmamak diye birşey yok o zaman. (bu ilk inconsistency.) çokluk da düşünülemez, çünkü çokluk ne? a, b, c, d, koloupou koloupou, falan filan. o zaman a b değil b c değil diyor oluyoruz ne olmadıkları hakkında laf ediyoruz. bu olamaz. olamaz. çok da yok. herşey tek. (burada onu kaybettik.)

oysa ki öteki diyor ki: uyuduğumuz zaman olmayana dokunur onla sohbet ederiz, uyanıksaksa sadece o uyuyan adama bakarız. (uyu daha iyi demeye getiriyor.)

ben bu ikinci adamı daha bir sevdim.

dancing with the whales

şimdi:

benim balina görmem lazım. meğer balina görmem gerekiyormuş, bilmiyormuşum. hatta mümkünse mavi denizlerde böyle yunus gibi sıçraya atlaya yüzen bir su aygırı ordusu.

bunu establish ettiğimize göre:
beyaz, bembeyaz balina. bu da polar bear gibi birşey olmasın?

belki bunlar mavi denizin beyaz köpükleriymiş. kim diyebilir?

ne dolunay, ne hilal. ayın böyle tırnak kadar kırıntısına kalmışız meğer. ne yapmalı. gün mü saymalı. aylı aysız, sonrası deniz.

another 'guess the tune' contest

ali hodge is my supervisor,
she knows a lot--
she says that I have a clown!!!!
but the thesis is not done.

dındıdın dındıdın

true men part IV: the truest of all

for andromeda and margo's info.

always check your men against adam.

adam, man, homme, uomini.

the last one sounds kinda wrong, actually.

anyway:

does he touch God?

can his big toe open up?

not to mention muscles, belly-buttons, extended necks.

may the archetype of man be with you.

ve bu da margo için:

"a nun'ı adamlarla görmüşler..."

il capitano

an extraordinary man has the right

that is not an official right, but an inner right

to decide in his own conscience to overstep certain obstacles.

an extraordinary man has the right.

--says raskolnikov in crime and punishment, dostoyevsky

maskara

what does making a copy of your face do to you? to the world? what is it that is taken away?

it is very cold. only through the coldness, you feel you are touched. you listen to your own breath.

all along I am worried about the tip of my nose. why hasn't it been touched yet. what if it is not what it is?

am I frowning underneath?

do make me laugh, please.

call from hushabye mountain

sail far away from lullaby bay

don quixote

did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts,

cold comfort for change,

did you exchange a walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

arkasına yazdıklarım...

bana kart geldi. ben bir daha kart atar mıyım?

another song

the top ten is growing:

diamonds and rust
wish you were here
don't think twice (it's alright)

and guess the tune of this one, with slightly altered lyrics:

david wiles, david wiles
at each meeting you greet me
tall and wise
curious and surprised
you look happy to meet me

head of department may you bloom and grow,
bloom and grow forever
david wiles, david wiles
supervise me forever!

diamonds and rust

chalk on a black floor
lines in a circle
a web of squares, triangles, rectangles
corners to be smudged, smudging

grey appears when one moves from black to white from white to black. it rubs on you. you have changed and so has the floor you have trodden. a mutual relationship.

I have been told:
a possession transformation thesis and antithesis
a calmer repose and a crazy thing
if you make a ritual of sitting I sit with you
hamlet or his girlfriend
little girl in a garden everything new
it is inviting I wonder clear
the numbers have gone, good

gotta grow expand breathe with the man (but I liked you out of breath!) (but with the song it is too much) perhaps working against what you have made. levels of becoming.

the snake is a means to an end. but the moon. ah, no one has seen the moon...

the 21st is a full moon. that is a sign.

kandinsky'den small pleasures

çizgi renk ritm ses

camaron de la isla ole

coraggio!

21 Aralık'tan beri bahar geliyor,

ben ondan bu saatte ayaktayım.

bacchante

şimdi bir şeyler değişmiş yenilenmiş

bir parça kan yanağıma akmış eve dönüyormuşum

bir elimde kuyruk bir elimde sopa

beni kim karşılar? ne der?

"gidişim pek birşeye benzemedi ama,

dönüşüm muhteşem olacak"

arabesk dünyasına adımımızı atmamıza az kaldı.

behold!

the brand new tennessee waltz

he calls them invites them makes the circle.
then the trick with the snake. we all know how those things end.
then he has a choice: he can pretend it never happened and try to become one of them, or he can just leave.

either way he makes his way, with every one, to another room.
there is a chair, a white chair.
has he been here before? perhaps, but not the chair, no no no, he has never ever seen it, or…
what have I done? what have these hands done.

he leaves dragging the chair behind. looking for a place to hide.
or perhaps to disappear altogether. he wanders till he finds himself at the foot of a ladder going all the way up to the moon. what is a man to do?

caligula, the actual one, gets his bust made, thousands of them, and orders that the heads of statues of gods and goddesses be broken and replaced with his heads. now that is what I call iconography in performance.

and he says in the end, really, ‘I’m still alive.’ no wonder.

responsibility

I think he is a bomber, he lights a bomb. be careful what you think in dreams. but then again, not a possibility.

there is a whole study on dreaming about polar bears... apparently it is a north american trend. hence the coke ads. hence lost. why, I've never dreamt of one.

there are some words you can never say enough. but you want to say them so many times that you can then be done with them, forget them.

margo said the memories you have never remembered or only seldom remember are the best, the purest, not tainted by repetition.

andromeda said that you should take people who have disappointed or hurt you and turn them into characters and let them change and become others and this is quite a therapeutic thing.

desperately looking for a melody

selim sesler derler ki:
can you move break the rhythm sing play and dream at the same time?

kid koala cevap verir:
there is a snake charmer. charming. and charmed.

dead can dance is applauded. every single time.

what is the tune, I ask. schehrazade? nooo no no. too orientalist. something made up? nooo too jazzy. uskudar'a gider iken? olmadi. yine bir poll'la karsi karsiyayiz.

magic

mountain
theatre
black
glue
mirror
memory
potion
flute
gone

olmasi gerekenler

ice donuk ayaklar. canin mi yaniyor. yoksa balerin olamadigindan mi. yoksa olmus musun? (as in have you died. ama double entendre mumkun.)

cagirmak. bir suru insan. gulerek. parmakla.

bir merdiven.

bir hikaye. you come upon it. istemeden. kazara.

bisiklet. tekerlekler.

yine ruya gordum, cok acik.

ayakkabi tabani. ayak tabani. dayanmak.

ve sarkisini arayan monsieur donc yanlis yere gelir oradan kacar sonra bir suru japon kadin onu kacirir. o fotograf. neyse ki. (as in luckily.)

ve ben ne menem bir hayvanim. bu soru baki.

herkesler yalniz kalmadan birseyler yapmak lazim.

It's about taking a fall

...You had plans for both of us

That involved a trip out of town

To a place I've seen in a magazine

That you left lying around

I don't have you with me but I keep a good attitude

Do you miss me, miss misery

Like you said you would?

Next door the tvs flashing

Blue frames on the wall

It's a comedy of errors, you see

It's about taking a fall

To vanish into oblivion

Is easy to do

And I try to be but you know me

I come back when you want me to

said elliott smith

kabus gordum, uyandim.

a dark pink rose
a playdough mouse
greek journals
extra-slim fingertips
books asleep on pillows
fences behind the windows
my hats tucked in a cupboard

the eye travels to bring one back home

nazim hikmet'ten

Sensiz Paris

Sensiz paris gülüm bir havai fişeği
Bir kuru gürültü kederli bir ırmak
Yıktı mahfetti beni

Pariste durup dinlenmeden gülüm seni çağırmak

Rubailer

5

Sarılıp yatmak mümkün değil bende senden kalan hayâle.
Halbuki sen orda, şehrimde gerçekten varsın etinle kemiğinle
ve balından mahrum edildiğim kırmızı ağzın, kocaman gözlerin gerçekten var
ve âsi bir su gibi teslim oluşun ve beyazlığın ki dokunamıyorum bile...

7

Bu bahçe, bu nemli toprak, bu yasemin kokusu, bu mehtaplı gece
pırıldamakta devâmedecek ben basıp gidince de,
çünkü o ben gelmeden, ben geldikten sonra da bana bağlı olmadan vardı
ve bende bu aslın sureti çıktı sadece...

Şaşıp Kalma Üstüne

Sevebilirim,
hem de nasıl,
dile benden ne dilersen,
canımı, gözlerimi

Kızabilirim,
ağzım köpürmez,
ama devenin öfkesi haltetmiş benimkinin yanında,
devenin öfkesi, kinciliği değil.

Anlayabilirim
çoğu kere burnumla,
yani en karanlığın, en uzaktakinin bile kokusunu alarak
ve döğüşebilirim,
doğru bulduğum, haklı bulduğum, güzel bulduğum herşey için, herkes için,
yaşım başım buna engel değil,
ama gel gör ki çoktan unuttum şaşıp kalmayı.
Şaşkınlık, alabildiğine yuvarlak açık ve alabildiğine genç gözleriyle bırakıp gitti beni.
Yazık.

monsieur donc

top five:

I started my PhD...

the sad song

the happy song

walking after midnight

till there was you

coming soon to embankment bridge...

riturnella

tu rinnina chi vai tu rinnina chi vai l'umar umaru oi riturnella tu rinnina chi vai l'umar umaru

ferma quoando ti dico ferma quando ti dico dui paroli oi riturnella ferma quando ti dico dui paroli

oi

goodbye

hediye just died today. (yesterday)
needs to be renamed.
tilki?
nimet?
antarctica? antartika?
paradise?
sapka? sapkam? capello mio?

please vote.

bu sene yapılması gerekenler:

gülümse

top flesh

je-ne-te-le-fait-pas-dire!