the brand new tennessee waltz

he calls them invites them makes the circle.
then the trick with the snake. we all know how those things end.
then he has a choice: he can pretend it never happened and try to become one of them, or he can just leave.

either way he makes his way, with every one, to another room.
there is a chair, a white chair.
has he been here before? perhaps, but not the chair, no no no, he has never ever seen it, or…
what have I done? what have these hands done.

he leaves dragging the chair behind. looking for a place to hide.
or perhaps to disappear altogether. he wanders till he finds himself at the foot of a ladder going all the way up to the moon. what is a man to do?

caligula, the actual one, gets his bust made, thousands of them, and orders that the heads of statues of gods and goddesses be broken and replaced with his heads. now that is what I call iconography in performance.

and he says in the end, really, ‘I’m still alive.’ no wonder.

responsibility

I think he is a bomber, he lights a bomb. be careful what you think in dreams. but then again, not a possibility.

there is a whole study on dreaming about polar bears... apparently it is a north american trend. hence the coke ads. hence lost. why, I've never dreamt of one.

there are some words you can never say enough. but you want to say them so many times that you can then be done with them, forget them.

margo said the memories you have never remembered or only seldom remember are the best, the purest, not tainted by repetition.

andromeda said that you should take people who have disappointed or hurt you and turn them into characters and let them change and become others and this is quite a therapeutic thing.

desperately looking for a melody

selim sesler derler ki:
can you move break the rhythm sing play and dream at the same time?

kid koala cevap verir:
there is a snake charmer. charming. and charmed.

dead can dance is applauded. every single time.

what is the tune, I ask. schehrazade? nooo no no. too orientalist. something made up? nooo too jazzy. uskudar'a gider iken? olmadi. yine bir poll'la karsi karsiyayiz.

magic

mountain
theatre
black
glue
mirror
memory
potion
flute
gone

olmasi gerekenler

ice donuk ayaklar. canin mi yaniyor. yoksa balerin olamadigindan mi. yoksa olmus musun? (as in have you died. ama double entendre mumkun.)

cagirmak. bir suru insan. gulerek. parmakla.

bir merdiven.

bir hikaye. you come upon it. istemeden. kazara.

bisiklet. tekerlekler.

yine ruya gordum, cok acik.

ayakkabi tabani. ayak tabani. dayanmak.

ve sarkisini arayan monsieur donc yanlis yere gelir oradan kacar sonra bir suru japon kadin onu kacirir. o fotograf. neyse ki. (as in luckily.)

ve ben ne menem bir hayvanim. bu soru baki.

herkesler yalniz kalmadan birseyler yapmak lazim.

It's about taking a fall

...You had plans for both of us

That involved a trip out of town

To a place I've seen in a magazine

That you left lying around

I don't have you with me but I keep a good attitude

Do you miss me, miss misery

Like you said you would?

Next door the tvs flashing

Blue frames on the wall

It's a comedy of errors, you see

It's about taking a fall

To vanish into oblivion

Is easy to do

And I try to be but you know me

I come back when you want me to

said elliott smith

kabus gordum, uyandim.

a dark pink rose
a playdough mouse
greek journals
extra-slim fingertips
books asleep on pillows
fences behind the windows
my hats tucked in a cupboard

the eye travels to bring one back home

nazim hikmet'ten

Sensiz Paris

Sensiz paris gülüm bir havai fişeği
Bir kuru gürültü kederli bir ırmak
Yıktı mahfetti beni

Pariste durup dinlenmeden gülüm seni çağırmak

Rubailer

5

Sarılıp yatmak mümkün değil bende senden kalan hayâle.
Halbuki sen orda, şehrimde gerçekten varsın etinle kemiğinle
ve balından mahrum edildiğim kırmızı ağzın, kocaman gözlerin gerçekten var
ve âsi bir su gibi teslim oluşun ve beyazlığın ki dokunamıyorum bile...

7

Bu bahçe, bu nemli toprak, bu yasemin kokusu, bu mehtaplı gece
pırıldamakta devâmedecek ben basıp gidince de,
çünkü o ben gelmeden, ben geldikten sonra da bana bağlı olmadan vardı
ve bende bu aslın sureti çıktı sadece...

Şaşıp Kalma Üstüne

Sevebilirim,
hem de nasıl,
dile benden ne dilersen,
canımı, gözlerimi

Kızabilirim,
ağzım köpürmez,
ama devenin öfkesi haltetmiş benimkinin yanında,
devenin öfkesi, kinciliği değil.

Anlayabilirim
çoğu kere burnumla,
yani en karanlığın, en uzaktakinin bile kokusunu alarak
ve döğüşebilirim,
doğru bulduğum, haklı bulduğum, güzel bulduğum herşey için, herkes için,
yaşım başım buna engel değil,
ama gel gör ki çoktan unuttum şaşıp kalmayı.
Şaşkınlık, alabildiğine yuvarlak açık ve alabildiğine genç gözleriyle bırakıp gitti beni.
Yazık.

monsieur donc

top five:

I started my PhD...

the sad song

the happy song

walking after midnight

till there was you

coming soon to embankment bridge...

riturnella

tu rinnina chi vai tu rinnina chi vai l'umar umaru oi riturnella tu rinnina chi vai l'umar umaru

ferma quoando ti dico ferma quando ti dico dui paroli oi riturnella ferma quando ti dico dui paroli

oi

goodbye

hediye just died today. (yesterday)
needs to be renamed.
tilki?
nimet?
antarctica? antartika?
paradise?
sapka? sapkam? capello mio?

please vote.

bu sene yapılması gerekenler:

gülümse

top flesh

je-ne-te-le-fait-pas-dire!